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Albert Dumblydore
Albert Dumblydore is the principal of Hogwarts, despite the fact Hogwarts has a headmaster instead of principal. He first appears in the story when he shouts at Ebony for having sex with Draco. Later he turns to the gothic side and tries to help Ebony. 'Tries' is a good word, since he gets shouted at for being a poser. Despite Tara Gilesbie's fondness for ridiculously long names, she did not include the full name of the original Hogwarts Headmaster (Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore), calling her school's "Principal" simply Dumblydore. {C __TOC__ Role in the story Albert first appears in Chapter 4, quoting the line he is now famous for. At that time, he was angry at Ebony and Draco for having sexual intercourse at the Forbidden Forest, deriding them as "motherfukers". He took them to his office, where the two goffs were denounced by him, Professor McGoogle and Professor Snape (who later turned into Snap). Tara later revealed that Dumblydore acts this way when he has headaches. In his second appearance, he appears and begins to cry. He reveals to Ebony and her band that Draco committed suicide by slitting his wrists (despite the fact Draco is a vampire and wouldn't die that way). Draco mysteriously reappears two chapters later, alive but kidnapped by Voldemort. However, Dumblydore has an about-face and tells Ebony that he does not give a damn at what happens to Draco. Later, Ebony attends an MCR concert. When the concert is hijacked by Vlodemort and da Death Deelers for the second time, Dumblydore turns into a gothic old man and saves Ebony and her friends. The next morning Albert painted the 'grate hall' black (but apparently painted it pink first, as Ebony can see the "pink pant" underneath it). Dumblydore also wears goffik clothing. He tries to befriend Ebony and the others, but is shouted at for being a poser. When the Mystery of Magic decides to take over the school, they make it clear that they consider Dumbledore incompetent. They yell at him for being too old and having Alzheimer's. When Ebony returns from 1980, Dumblydore has been removed from his position as principal and has been replaced by Doris Rumbridge. He is also send to Abkhazian for being "week" and having "kancer". But he is released and brought back to substitute for Professor Sinister (who was also sent to Abkhazian) on the very same day he was sent to prison. When Ebony travels to the past, it is revealed that the Dumblydore of that time period is much more hateful towards goffs. He is very preppy, and shouts at Ebony and Tom Satan Bombodil (the past Voldemort) for just talking in the hallway, despite the fact that they were outside at the time. When he catches Tom Satan Bombodil and Hedwig having sex in the great hall, he attempts to have all goffs sent to Akazaban. Personality It seems that Albert Dumblydore has some case of split personality. When he has no headaches, he is portrayed as a senile old man. He shows up from time to time to tell (largely irrelevant) things to Ebony, and later turns into a gothic old man. However, when he has a headache, he starts verbally abusing students and openly admits some students may rot away in Voldemorts hands, 'cockling' all the while. During Ebony's trips to the past, Dumblydore apparently had constant headaches because he hated goffs with a passion and saw Goffikness as a crime for which people could be send to Abkhazian, alongside 'copolation'. Difference from the original The real Albus Dumbledore was portrayed as a powerful presence of which even the Dark Lord Voldemort was afraid of. Dumbledore also believed everyone should be offered forgiveness. He is described as being calm and wise. These traits are absolutely not present in Albert Dumblydore. He is very quickly angered, swears at students and even admits he does not care what Voldemort does to Draco. This stands in sharp contrast with the fact Dumbledore offers Draco protection from Voldemort in the real series. Albert is also easily intimidated by students, while there is nothing that could really intimidate Albus. Notable Quotes *"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOUR MOTHERFUKERS!" - the greatest line of the entire story. *“No.” he said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony.” he said while he frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway.” Artist Depictions my_immortal_cha.png|Dumbelldork in the comic My_Immortal___Chapter_Five_by_zenia.jpg Dumblydore sims.png My_Immortal_Lulz_by_Freak_Egg.jpg DUMBLYDORE_by_ChemicalAlia.jpg My_immortal_by_Pango22.jpg Category:Characters Category:Preps Category:Goffs